Mandalorians vs Spartan III's

Deadliest Warrior: Mandalorians vs. Spartan IIIs

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or the Halo franchise. Both of these things that have enriched our popular culture are owned by somebody else. Probably George Lucas and Bungie.


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Announcer: The Mandalorians

The camera shows an image of a Mandalore warrior, dressed in their distinct armour with their trademark "t" shaped visor. The warrior brandishes a large blaster rifle.

The most powerful warriors in the galaxy, second only to the Jedi Knights.

Then the camera shows images of a squad of Mandalorian warriors battling a squad of Sith warriors. The Mandalorians take cover before blasting the overconfident Sith to oblivion with a well placed thermal detonator.

Announcer: The Spartan IIIs

A Spartan III stands before the camera armed with an assault rifle. The powerful super soldier packs an assault rifle.

Cut to images of Spartan IIIs undergoing the physical augmentation process that makes them superhuman.

Conceived as the inheritors of the Spartan IIs legacy, the III's were designed to be a more team oriented, numerically superior Spartan that was easier to produce.

Announcer: Using twenty first century technology, our team of experts will evaluate weapons and tactics and compare these two very different warriors.

Black belt and biomedical expert Geoff Desmoulin will handle the measuring of the physical prowess of the two warriors.

Geoff stands before the camera. "This is going to be one hell of a match because these warriors are both right there at the top in their respective universes."

Computer master Max Geiger will handle the processing of the data gathered.

"This is going to be a battle of willpower versus willpower. The Mandalorians are given from birth the kind of elite level training that was given to the likes of the Master Chief. The Spartan IIIs started much later in life and I think that's going to tilt this thing in the Mandalores favour."

Fight doctor and former ER physician Armand Dorian will judge the lethality of the wounds dished out today.

"I'm going to have to give the edge to the Spartans in this one. Their augmentation has made them more than human; it's increased their reflexes three hundred percent among other things" Armand says. "Also, they are all recruited from orphans of the human-covenant war so they're driven by a need for revenge."

Announcer: Representing the Mandalorians is the famous bounty hunter, Boba Fett and Jedi Knight Jaina Solo.

Boba Fett stands in front of the camera. Totally covered by his father's Mandalore armour, Fett is an enigma. Armed to the teeth and beyond with all manner of deadly gadgets, Fett has killed just about any type of creature in the galaxy at one time or another. He's the kind of man who'd look the Master Chief straight in the eye and say, "Sorry, but I'm really not impressed."

Jaina is a gorgeous female Jedi with brown hair and fair skin. The only part of her that's not beautiful is her eyes. Those eyes have seen slaughter and betrayal on a scale that could crush the sanity of lesser beings. They're large and soulful and tell that while compassionate, this Jedi knight is more than capable of taking lives.

Announcer: Standing in for team Spartan is Chief Franklin Mendez and Spartan III Emile-A239.

Chief Mendez is the man who trained both generations of Spartan super soldiers. He's an older man with a bald head and dark skin, but he moves with the grace and power of an elite warrior of the UNSC. Emile is dressed from head to foot in the black armour of the Spartan IIIs. His face is obscured by a helmet with a skull painted across the visor. Two bandoliers of shotgun shells are crossed on his chest.

Announcer: It will be a battle of opposites. A battle of an ancient warrior culture . . .

A group of young Mandalorians are shown being educated martial arts techniques used by the ancient Mandalorian crusaders.

Versus a futuristic super soldier program

A Spartan III coldly waits on a metal table as multiple chemicals and concoctions are injected into his blood through long, nasty needles.

Indomitable warrior spirit

Mandalorian warriors fight against the fanatical Yuuzon Vong, outnumbered forty to one and still holding out.

Versus insatiable need for vengeance

A squad of Spartan IIIs deliver a bomb to the heart of a covenant ship. The bomb explodes, killing all of the covenant on board and the Spartans with them. Their mission objective has been completed.

When the two warriors collide—

A Spartan III aims his assault rifle at a Mandalorian, who cuts the utilitarian gun in half with a heavy bladed weapon.

We will go all out—

A Mandalorian throws a grenade at a group of Spartan IIIs, destroying their active camouflage with the flash from the bomb.

No rules, no safety, no mercy!

All in the quest to answer the question

Who

Is

DEADLIEST!


At the fight club, things are getting heated up. Mendez is checking the status of his weapons. Emile takes a sniper rifle and aims it at the camera in a dramatic shot. Meanwhile, Boba Fett is pounding on a practice dummy with his fists. Janie wields a massive blade weapon as if it were made of plastic.

Stats:

Spartan III-weapons: MA5C Assault rifle, Spiker grenade, Sniper Rifle System 99D-S2, Flame thrower

Armour: Semi-Powered Infiltration Mark II armour

Era: 2552 CE-battle of Onyx

Mandalorian weapons: Mandalore heavy repeater, Atomic compression grenade, EE-3 Carbine rifle, Beskad

Armour: Mandalorian Shock Trooper armour

Era: 28 ABY-Battle of Ebaq 9

Before testing starts, the camera talks briefly to our experts. Jaina Solo is first. "I've trained under Boba Fett and I fought with the Mandalorians in both the Yuuzong Vong wars and the Second Galactic Civil War. With a bit of help from Boba, I'm five times as deadly as I was before." At the last part she doesn't sound too proud and her voice is a bit hollow.

Emile has never been one for interacting with non Spartans. "No comment," he covers the lens with his gloved hand.

Announcer: Testing begins with short range weapons.

The crew are once again standing outside in the outdoor gun testing range, located in the middle of a rocky desert. In front of everyone, Sergeant Mendez is showing off the MA5C assault rifle. "This fine piece of UNSC craftsmanship was first introduced after the battle of Instillation 01, otherwise known as Delta Halo."

Fett is inscrutable behind his mask and Jaina Solo is similarly unreadable.

"It's a gas operated projectile weapon with upgraded and shielded software that counts ammo, automatically maintains the weapon from structural damage and hooks up to the user's helmet to give a targeting reticule."

"It has a modified cowl to house the electronics and reduce weight, a heavier barrel with a one in seven twist and better hand grip for superior accuracy over earlier models."

Geoff, impressed by the demonstration of the blocky weapon, starts to explain the firing test. "Okay Sergeant, we've got a firing range with a single target. A pig on a motorized base will roll across your field of view. In the way are a bunch of dummies that represent civilians."

Geoff points at the dead pig hanging from a rope. "That pig represents a Mandalorian and you have to kill him without harming the civilians. Can you do that?"

Mendez grins at the biomedical expert. "I could do that in my sleep."

Soon the test is set up. The pig is ready to roll and Mendez has got his weapon locked and loaded. His ammo counter reads full and his glasses feed him data about the weapon's condition.

Geoff stands with the almighty stopwatch. "Mendez, get ready in 3. 2... 1 KILL THE BASTARD!"

The pig starts rolling and almost immediately, Mendez begins to spray bullets into the pig flesh. Bullets strike the pig, punching small neat holes in the front and gaping, torn openings in the back.

As the roller takes the target behind a civilian, Mendez fires off a last shot before the target is totally hidden behind the dummy.

The pig barely starts peeking out from the blank faced dummy, the drill Sergeant begins blasting again. The pig sneaks past two more targets before the gun is empty. Mendez removes the empty magazine and the analysis can begin.

The three hosts survey the pig. Each bullet punched a grapefruit sized hole in the back of the pig, so it looks like the entire one side of the pig has been sloppily hacked away by a giant blade.

Emile formally explains. "The target has been eliminated."

Max laughs at Emile's understatement. "That's one way of putting it, skull man."

Armand examines what remains of the pig. "I used to treat wounds like this when I served on a base on Onyx. The bullets are designed to fragment and destroy a wide band of internal organs inside the body. Definitely terminated."

Geoff points to the front of the pig, where all the neat little holes are. "Nice grouping. I wouldn't want to play darts with you."

Fett then points out something. "You grazed one of the dummies over there."

Quickly, the gang realizes that the Fett man is correct. Armand points to the side of one of the dummies. "You got him; just barely a graze. This might possibly be a broken rib."

"But he's still alive," Mendez points out.

Announcer: Now it's time for the Mandalorians to take their assault weapon to battle. The Mandalore heavy repeater; first developed during the war with the Sith Empire, this weapon fires a hail of deadly blaster bolts at all who stand before it.

Boba Fett has his repeater in ready position and the targeting device on his helmet is down. The battle hardened bounty hunter is still as a statue.

Geoff gives the all-go. "Okay Boba. In 3... 2... 1... FIRE!"

The pig goes off and Fett wastes no time. A spray of red blaster bolts rains down on the pig. It doesn't take long before the pig carcass starts to smoke and the three hosts can smell roasting pork.

When the test is done, the pig no longer looks like a pig. Geoff is totally wowed by the devastation. "Look at that pig; it's like a piece of charcoal." Indeed, the ham looks like it was left to cook too long.

Max jabs a finger at where the bolts struck the body; but not too close, he can still feel the heat. "I can see that the shots are in a much tighter bunch than with the assault rifle."

Jaina then speaks up for her partner. "Also, Boba didn't hit any of the civilians."

Mendez and his silent companion try to defend themselves. "Hey, I killed the target. Also, the assault rifle is highly effective against unshielded opponents; and the Mandalorians are unshielded opponents."

But the facts speak for themselves. Geoff gives the skinny to everybody. "Sorry Mendez, you're a great shot, but even with genetic augmentations Fett was still able to get better accuracy than you. The edge goes to the Mandalores on this one."

Edge: the Mandalorians

Announcer: Each warrior is renowned for their deadly skill and they show that skill brilliantly with their use of explosive weapons.

The Camera cuts to a scene from the UNSC-Covenant War. A squad of Brutes make their way through a ruined hallway on a UNSC frigate.

During the war with the covenant, Spartan IIIs low on ammo would not hesitate to use the weapons of their enemies.

Suddenly, the lead brute is struck by a grenade that sticks to his armour. The leader panics before the grenade kills him and half his troops.

Announcer: The Spiker Grenade, a deadly grenade that showers its targets with deadly crystal shrapnel.

Emile now holds up a Brute Spiker Grenade. He is quick and clinical in his explanation. "This is the spiker grenade. When the button is depressed on the base of the handle, the bomb is armed. When thrown, it will stick to whatever surface it hits. After that, a four second count down starts. The explosion fragments the entire grenade, including the handle; so you get the increased range of a handled grenade without the reduction of killing power."

Announcer: To make the test more accurate, the test dummies have been fitted with actual Mandalore armour.

The three Mandalorian dummies are positioned inside a prefab durasteel structure. Emile will have to pitch a grenade through a small opening replicating a door.

Max has the stop watch and is ready to get rocking. "Emile, 3... 2... 1... THROW IT!"

Wasting no time, the skull masked Spartan III presses the activation button and throws the brutal looking grenade like a pro.

The bomb flies right through the opening and sticks to the far wall. Four seconds pass by and the thing explodes. A hail of crystal shrapnel tear through the dummies and it paints the entire room in fake blood.

The guys laugh at the carnage as they inspect the damage. Max reads over the shock pads. "The pads aren't tripped. There's no concussive blast."

Emile nods. "That's right; the bomb uses a magnetic burst instead of a chemical explosion to generate destructive force. So not only is it much stealthier than a regular grenade, it also has a bad effect on electromagnetic equipment."

Armand points out the shrapnel damage. "If you'll notice here, the Mandalore Iron was strong enough that none of the metal plates were penetrated. The only reason they're dead is that there's so much shrapnel every joint in the armour was pierced, especially the neck area."

Announcer: Now comes time to test the Mandalorian explosive of choice.

(Forgive me, I invented this one based off of a bomb that Jango Fett used on his ship)

Jaina Solo holds up a silvery sphere with a small dial on the top. "This is an atomic compression grenade. Basically it's a scaled down atomic bomb. The Mandalorians used these when thermal detonators failed to penetrate the living crab plate armour of the Yuuzan Vong. This dial here can be used to control the blast power and time to detonation."

Geoff looks over the device approvingly. "Okay Jiana, how about you show us what you can do."

As before, a prefab building has been set up using standard UNSC building materials. Inside the three dummies have been placed in the working armour of the Spartan IIIs.

Mendez gives a quick rundown of the armour system. "That's the SPI Mark II armour. It's an armour system that unlike the MJOLNIR armour is designed primarily for stealth and infiltration."

He runs a finger down Emile's armour for emphasis. "This armour is lined with photo-reactive panels that mimic a wide variety of environments and textures and features a layer of liquid nano-crystals that provide better protection than three centimetres of Kevlar diamond weave."

Jaina points out a flaw with the armour. "After each hit, the photo plates need to reset; especially after an energy splash. Also, it only provides the user with seven minutes of breathable air versus the Mandalore armour's two hour air reserve."

Mendez is amused. "That two hour air reserve won't help you when we put hot lead in your brains."

Announcer: With everything set, all that's left is the go ahead.

Jaina waits, atomic compression grenade in hand. Geoff gives the countdown. "3... 2... 1... FOR MANDALORE!"

The atomic compression grenade is thrown and the results are considerably more spectacular than the spiker grenade. The whole building is blown to bits; the walls fly apart and head for the directions of the four winds. The SPI armour is sent flying outwards in pieces. A helmet with the head still inside it bounces off the bullet proof shield of the blast wall the guys are hiding behind.

As the destruction passes, Jaina looks very pleased with herself. Walking past a stunned Mendez, she says nothing. She only gives him a playful little wink.

The three hosts go over the data. Geoff starts first. "So guys, atomic compression versus spiker."

Max is clear. "I'm definitely going with the atomic compression. That thing kicks all kinds of ass."

Armand is of a similar mind. "I agree. Even though the spiker grenade had the deadly shrapnel effect, it lacks the concussive kill power of other grenades."

Geoff knows what he must do. "So we're clear then?"

Edge: Mandalorians

Announcer: Half way through the show and things are really heating up

The camera zooms in on Boba Fett, who is currently flipping bantha burgers on a propane barbecue inside the club.

The intensity is picking up

Jaina Solo and Armand Dorian are having an arm wrestle. While determined, the former ER doctor is no match for the female Jedi.

As the long range weapons are brought into the play

Mendez holds up a big sniper rifle and tries to shoot an errant mosquito. A well placed gunshot reduces the blood sucking bug into nothing. Emile applauds.

The three hosts and the guests are now standing in front of a field of tall grasses. Emile carries a Sniper rifle S99D-S2. Boba Fett handles an EE-3 Carbine rifle. The sniper rifle is a master of long range weapons, able to easily over penetrate armoured and energy shielded targets such as low level Covenant Elites. Fett's weapon is a modified storm trooper blaster modified for superior accuracy and power.

Before long, Geoff shines forth with his bright manner. "Okay guys, this is a test of both your long range weapons and your marksmanship."

Max takes it from there. "Instead of having you guys shoot pig carcasses or ballistics dummies, for the first time on the show we'll have live, moving targets."

Armand finishes off the demonstration. "We've brought you guys to Duck Hunt!"

On cue, a large smiling dog bounds over to Max's side, where he begins unstoppably petting and cuddling it.

From behind their masks, Fett and Emile just look at each other as if to silently say, "What the fuck is this shit?"

The test begins; the dog sniffs the ground and then happily jumps into the tall grass. There is no need for the stopwatch this time. Emile pops a four round clip into the lengthy sniper rifle; a digital feed transmits data into his helmet about the state of the gun.

Suddenly a duck comes flying out of the marsh. It doesn't get far before a well placed fin stabilized sabot round sends the water fowl to hell.

The dog pops up and holds out the dead duck for all to see, but Emile doesn't notice. He's in Spartan time, where everything moves super slowly and the target stands out as if wearing a neon vest.

Three more ducks come out of the marsh; they barely make it before they're all gunned down by the Spartan.

Suddenly, before he can reload, a dozen more ducks come flying from the marsh. Emile moves rapidly, reloading and emptying the clip with superhuman speed. The dozen ducks are rapidly reduced to one.

It looks like it's getting away, but not for long. Emile has one bullet left; he takes his time, get aim and ... bang. No more duck.

The guys all pull off their protective ear wear and laugh heartily at this incredible display of marksmanship. Truly Emile is a master of the craft of war

Now it's Fett's turn, the unstoppable, emotionless bounty hunter whose name strikes fear into the hearts of criminals. Quickly, the masked Mandalore scans the HUD in his helmet to see that everything is in order. Everything checks out as the dog jumps into the high grass and the ducks start coming.

Lowering the pineal targeting device on his helmet, Fett opens up with a hail of blaster fire. Red blaster bolts take down duck after duck. The faceless man tracker shoots with the same steady hands as a droid.

But somehow, for some reason, his shots seem to be with less ease than those fired by Emile. The shots are less accurate, if only by a millimetre but in battle with foes as mighty as the Spartans, millimetres count.

The guys watch Fett as he sends more ducks to their doom. Jaina politely asks Mendez, "Nervous, sergeant?"

Mendez laughs at the lady Jedi. "Hell no, mam; I'm just waiting for that fool to slip up. After all, he's only human."

True to Mendez's prediction, Fett misses a duck, even though he has the advantage of not needing to load his weapon.

Never one to do anything half way. Fett fires his last shot and kills the duck that he missed.

Fett turns toward the dog, who is now laughing at the bounty hunter. The pooch is laughing because Boba missed and Emile did not.

Like hell Fett is going to let this two bit mutt laugh at him. Quickly, he activates a control inside his helmet that triggers the poisoned rocket darts in his knee pads.

The dog stops laughing when a poison rocket dart hits it in the throat. The mutt whimpers for a second before falling like a tree in the forest. It lies down in the mud, its eyes aren't blinking and its tongue is lolling out.

Max cries out in shock. "Holy shit, dude! You just killed the dog! What the hell am I going to tell my cousin now?"

Geoff and Armand look at each other. Geoff mumbles to Armand. "Shouldn't have taunted the bounty hunter."

Armand agrees. "Yeah, besides, Fett disintegrated Chuck Norris. You don't mess with a man like that."

After Max calmed down after the death of the dog, he and his two pals get together to discuss who's deadlier. Armand goes first. "This is a close one."

Geoff nods. "You got that right. This might be one of the closest matches between sniping weapons on the show."

"Yeah, but there was a lead; Emile was slightly more accurate. Now, both he and Fett have specialized targeting equipment in their helmets. In fact Fett's helmet has even more sophisticated tracking equipment than Emile has, which makes Emile's victory all the more impressive."

There's no doubt anymore who's the better shot.

Edge: Spartan IIIs

Announcer: The Mandalorians have taken the lead in both explosive and short range weapons while the Spartan IIIs have proven their superior mettle with the sniper rifle. Now it's time for special weapons, and then onto the main fight!

In the fight lab, the tension is palpable between the two sides, each one eager to prove their superiority.

Mendez explains to the camera. "I know the Spartan IIIs will win; there's no doubt in my mind. I trained them and they're not afraid to die. In fact, they have a death wish. Like the code of Bushido says, 'if you go into battle hoping to live, you will die. If you go into battle expecting to die, you will live."

Boba Fett has a different idea from the sergeant. His cold voice sends chills up the spine of all who listen. "I'm not afraid of the Spartan IIs incestuous cousins. I've personally killed a Spartan II under the command of the Master Chief himself. Took me months of planning and every dirty trick I had, but I respect what they can do." And it was the most lucrative bounty Fett ever took.

He shifts his cape slightly to show off his gun better. "The Spartan IIIs were created with cost cutting in mind. When you cut costs, the only way you can win is with numbers. They will not have numerical superiority in this fight."

With the targets set up, the two sides show off their special weapons. Emile hauls around a gigantic flame thrower with a shark design painted on the sides.

Jaina Solo wields a gigantic blade, forty-two centimetres long and curved up at the tip.

Behind his visor, Emile eyes the hefty blade that has a peculiar lustre in the light. "Isn't that heavy?" he asks.

Jaina replies evenly and points at the flame thrower. "Isn't that heavy?" Classic Solo humour.

The hosts look at the weapons expecting to be impressed. It seems that they will not be disappointed. Max goes first. "Okay guys, can you tell us a bit about your weapons?"

Jaina is courteous to her Spartan rival. "Please, you go first."

Emile nods imperceptibly and wastes no time. "This is the M7057 Flamethrower. It launches a semi-liquid flammable fuel whose formula and name are classified. It has a range of three hundred feet and if you knew the name of the fuel I'd have to kill you."

Geoff is duly impressed. "Nice piece; so Jaina, what do you call that?"

Jaina raises what must be a very heavy weapon. "This is a beskad, a traditional Mandalorian blade that dates back thousands of years. Its name comes from the metal it's forged from, beskar; otherwise known as Mandalore iron."

Mendez is quite amused by the beskad. "You're bringing a knife to a gunfight. You've already lost."

Jaina smiles coyly at Mendez. "Sergeant, please let the results speak for themselves." As she says this, she raises the tip of the weapon towards the drill sergeant.

Mendez is unworried. "I think I'll take my ranged weapon over your melee weapon any day."

The Solo has another witty retort. "Look at how heavy that weapon is. Your superman can barely lift it. Do you need a hand?"

Emile misses the sarcasm and taunting. "Negative ma, I'm fine."

Geoff puts an end to the pissing match. "Okay, everything is set up. Let's just go and see the test of deadliness; good with that?"

Announcer: To test the scorching power of the flame thrower, four targets have been dressed up in authentic Mandalore armour.

Max Geiger fits the inside of each suite of armour with a heat detector which will broadcast internal temperature readings to the computer.

The firing location is outdoors, since firing a flamethrower indoors would be an extremely stupid idea.

Emile is pushing the flame thrower around on a cart; kind of like a shopping cart on steroids. These flamethrowers are very heavy. Even the Master Chief had to work to pick up one of these babies with any speed.

The test is set to commence. Geoff calls to Emile. "Spartan, are you ready?" It's starting to feel a bit like the movie 300 out here.

Emile fires up the pilot light on the weapon and reads the fuel gauge. He aims the weapon, not that much accuracy is needed with this beast.

"In 3... 2... 1... TOAST!"

A jet of fire shoots forward. The heat can be felt by the hosts many metres away. The targets in Mandalorian armour don't stand a chance. In less than seconds the lot of them are up like flames.

Max reads the temperature sensors on his computer. "Okay, we're getting awfully high. The people in that armour have got some second degree burns but they're still alive."

A massive explosion shocks everyone. A dummy has blown to bits. Like dominoes, the test dummies all start blowing up.

One of the dummies loses its head from an exploding jet pack. The flaming helmet flies up in an arc and starts to fly downwards towards the crew.

Geoff screams for everyone to run. Right before the flaming head is about to hit Max, it stops in mid air.

Max looks around, shaking like a leaf. Lucky for him that Jaina used her Jedi powers to stop the flying, flaming head; otherwise Max wouldn't be having too much fun.

The team reviews the data. Max gushes. "That was amazing. The cooling system in the armour actually kept the wearer alive; injured but alive."

Armand pipes up. "Yeah, it was the exploding jet packs that did them in. That thing isn't made of beskar; just duraplast and other less sturdy materials."

Geoff is truly impressed. "I've seen one of these flamethrowers kill everyone inside a Warthog; no laughing matter."

Announcer: Now it's time to put to the test the Mandalores flesh carver.

Max has his doubts, as does Armand. "I don't see how a sword can compare with a flame thrower."

Armand voices his concerns. "Even though it didn't kill the Mandalorians, they still got second degree burns all over their bodies. That will debilitate at the very least."

Jaina chides the boys. "Don't make suppositions before you've seen the facts."

In front of her is a ballistics gel torso that wears a Spartan III SPI chest plate. The dummy is modified to reflect the density of the Spartan IIIs superhuman muscular toughness and bone density.

The woman Jedi is ready. Geoff once more gives the command. "3... 2... 1... SLICE AND DICE!"

Despite the weight of the weapon, Jaina does not use her Jedi powers. She takes a swing and slices across the armoured larynx, nearly slicing to the bone.

Next, Jaina winds back for another swing and stabs into the heart, cutting through ribs as hard as steel and through the UNSC bullet and blaster proof armour.

The blade however gets stuck in the armour and Jiana struggles to get it free. The Jedi struggles but is unable to free the blade; the test is called to a halt.

Armand matter of factly gives the stats. "This guy's dead. The slashed throat isn't instantly fatal for a Spartan but it is a slow kill. This guy may take anywhere from five to twenty minutes to die, depending on various factors."

"The blade through the heart though, that's an instant kill; all the more impressive that the blade went through the armour."

Mendez is not impressed. "It still can't hold a candle to the flamethrower."

Geoff agrees with Mendez. "We hear you chief. The flamethrower has range and it's also deadly, but we can't underestimate the beskad."

Edge: Spartan IIIs

Announcer: With testing complete, it's time for the event that you've all been waiting for. Time for Mandalorians to go head to head with Spartan IIIs in a squad on squad battle.

It's show time!

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Simulation:

Mandalorians: 5

Spartan IIIs: 5

In the void of space, a battle rages. The forces of the United Nations Space Command and the Yuuzan Vong fight it out above the steampunk planet of Aegis IIV. The technophobic Vong find this world particularly heinous since the whole planet is filled with iron and bronze engines powered by steam, heated by anti-matter reactions.

In the planet's atmosphere, Yuuzan Vong organic coral skippers duke it out in supersonic aerial dogfights with UNSC hornets and indigenous steam powered beetle flyers.

In the turbulent sky, a long zeppelin flies. The tesla cannons aboard are firing; aimed valiantly by their gun crews, but the captain and all bridge crew are dead.

The flying behemoth obliviously floats towards its doom in the form of one of Aegis IIV's mega mountains. It will crash if it is not shot down first.

Speeding towards the zeppelin is a Mandalorian stealth craft. These mercenary warriors have been hired by an anonymous client to retrieve a UNSC prototype bomb carried aboard the zeppelin. Failure is not an option.

When the ship gets close enough, the Mandalorians leap off and their jet packs kick in. The heavily armoured warriors zip towards the lighter than air craft like blood drinking insects towards prey.

At the exact same time, a UNSC pelican dodges enemy and friendly fire alike as the olive green ship races to the unmanned zeppelin. Inside, a crew of five Spartan IIIs are after the same bomb as the Mandalores. The highly experimental thalaron bomb will prove very useful against the Yuuzan Vong's purely biotic technology.

The dropship hovers over top of the speeding zeppelin. The Spartans all drive out with military precision. They are armed to the teeth; they've ever brought a flamethrower with them to clear out any Vong war beasts.

Like a row of battle droids, the Spartans activate their armour's stealth mode and file into the top entrance of the great gas bag before the pelican is shot down by enemy craft. No matter, the Spartans will find another way out.

The Mandalores prowl the hallways of the zeppelin, stepping over the bodies of the dead crew and ruthlessly cutting down any Vong that get in their way.

The Spartans prefer to sneak past the Yuuzan Vong warriors. They avoid fighting wherever possible; it would only slow them down.

Since they are unable to access the computer systems, they split up; hoping to quicken the search.

The team marksman has reached the munitions storage bay, a vast containment area large enough to house a modern day aircraft carrier. Somewhere in all the mess of dislodged ammo and burning flames is the bomb.

A drop of hundreds of feet lies before him. It's not impossible given his armour and augmentations; but it's better to look before leaping. And look he does, through the scope of his sniper rifle.

It's not long before the Spartan Sniper spots a target. "Hostile spotted mark zero, four, seven, beta," he utters into the communicator.

A Mandalorian is trying to access the ship's anachronistic but strangely futuristic computer system in hopes of finding a clue to the target's location.

A large calibre bullet from a sniper rifle ends the Mandalorian's search. The shot avoids the impenetrable beskar of the helmet and strikes the Mandalorian in the visor.

Mandalorian: 4

Spartan IIIs: 5

Quickly, the sniper Spartan scans for any more hostiles. He quickly finds another Mandalorian, but this one is prepared. The Mandalore is aiming her EE-3 carbine rifle at the Spartan. His active camouflage poses no problems for her helmet sensors to detect.

Before the super soldier can react, she squeezes the trigger and fires a blaster bolt right through the scope of the sniper rifle and into the Spartan's eye.

By reflex, the Spartan's hand shoots to his eye, but his body doesn't know that he's already dead.

Mandalorians: 4

Spartan IIIs: 4

The female Mandalorian briefly checks the ammo counter on her HUD and gets to cover. There, she sends the word to her fellow Mandalores; they have company aboard this vessel and it's not the Vong.

In the officer's meeting room, a male Mandalorian frustratedly rifles through paper after paper. Who the hell uses paper in this day and age? Damn steampunk planet.

Suddenly, he puts a hand to his ear as he received the communiqué from the team commander, the female Mandalorian.

Like the Spartans, the Mandalores split up as soon as they thought they'd killed all the Yuuzan Vong aboard.

Suddenly, he finds a document that might reveal where the bomb is located and it's not in the munitions bay.

Before he can contact his comrades, his three hundred and sixty degree helmet motion detectors pick up something. It's closing in fast and he just has time to drop the paper and get his heavy repeater in proper stance.

Through the door of the room comes flying a spiker grenade. Reacting quickly, the Mandalore flips over the board room table and takes cover.

The wood and brass table does little to stop the deadly crystalline shards. The Mandalorian grits his teeth in pain as crystal shards bury themselves in the gaps of the armour in his left leg and up the left side of his breast plate.

Like invisible lightning, a Spartan III shoots through the door. The Spartan is like a ghost, the wounded Mandalore is unable to hit the target.

Like a predator closing in for the kill, the Spartan jumps towards the Mandalore and picks him up. The Spartan tries to break the Mandalore's neck, but internal armour in the neck prevents that.

Not to be deterred, the Spartan III takes her assault rifle and empties half the clip into the Mandalore's neck. Black blood sprays everywhere and the Mandalore falls dead.

Mandalorian: 3

Spartan IIIs: 4

Evidently this one was male but not human. It's of no concern to the Spartan III what species her foe is nor that the Mandalores are many species. All that matters is the mission.

Scanning the room with her superhuman brain, the Spartan finds the document that Mandalore was viewing. She now knows where the target is.

In the mess hall, one of the Mandalorian has hacked into the Spartans communication grid. He passes on the information to the rest of his team and is on his way.

As easily as opening the mess hall door, the Mandalore throws an atomic compression grenade down the hall.

The explosion rocks the metal frame of the zeppelin, which is now not far from hitting that mega mountain.

In the hallway, a Spartan III managed to avoid the deadly bomb but now the active camouflage plates in his armour are totally fried.

The Mandalorian who threw the grenade now appears from behind the door and opens fire with the heavy repeater.

The Spartan returns fire but his bullets ping harmlessly off the Mandalore armour.

By contrast, the heavy repeater makes Swiss cheese of the SPI armour.

The Spartan falls like a tree; the limbs don't bend and it makes a great deal of noise.

Mandalorian: 3

Spartan IIIs: 3

The two sides are converging. The three Spartan IIIs race down the hallways. Leading the group was the one pushing the flamethrower; the wheels of the cart crushing the bodies of the fallen, including one Mandalorian.

The bomb is in the engine room, hidden inside a false wall panel. The bomb was supposed to have been delivered to one of the planet's royal military bases but the Vong invasion came early.

The Spartans burst into the engine room; a nightmarish inferno of anti-matter steam engines, poor lighting and chugging pistons. Every few seconds, a great burst of steam would spray everywhere and obscure all from sight.

The enormous heat of the engine room causes a near overload of the thermal cloaking devices on the SPI armour and the steam bursts renders their active camouflage useless.

This was the perfect place for an ambush.

Three atomic compression grenades landed at the feet of the Spartans. Up in the room, the three Mandalorians cling to the metal rafters like flies, with the aid of the spiked gloves and shoes of their armour.

In unison, the three Spartans sprinted out of range of the explosion, although the heat generated melted the camouflage plates.

The Mandalorians open up with fire from heavy repeaters and one EE-C carbine. A hail of lead meets the Mandalores, but their beskar armour keeps them safe from the assault rifle bullets.

The Spartan who'd manned the now destroyed flame thrower got in a shot through one of the visors of his enemies but is quickly cut down by repeater fire.

Mandalorians: 3

Spartan IIIs: 2

The Spartans are now outnumbered and must rethink their battle plan.

Outside the zeppelin, a Yuuzan Vong frigate crashes into the side of the gas filled behemoth; wounding the giant vessel and causing it to fall to the ground slowly.

In the engine room, everything was tilting. The Mandalorians used their jet packs to orient themselves while the Spartans were forced to grab onto whatever they could.

The impact also caused some of the massive steel cogs to be exposed.

The female Spartan, the team leader, finds herself handing off of a machine block that tilts forty five degrees. Her partner has fallen and they've become separated.

Suddenly, the Mandalorian trio comes flying towards her; the team leader carrying a huge, heavy blade in addition to her carbine.

Twisting to avoid the blaster fire, the female Spartan narrowly avoids losing her head from the heavy beskad. Instead, the massive blade slices the Spartan's assault rifle in half.

The Mandalorian troika jet past the female and head for the other Spartan.

This one is not as lucky as the squad leader. Fire from the carbine hits him in the wrist, blowing his hand off and causing him to lose his handhold.

Falling, the Spartan nonetheless managed to fire off a kill shot in one of the Mandalore's visors.

Mandalorians: 2

Spartan IIIs: 2

Despite having a missing hand, the Spartan was going to go down fighting.

Rounds from the heavy repeater hit him in the shoulder, but he ignored the pain. Instead, he threw his last spiker grenade and hit the Mandalorian square in the neck; the exploding grenade downed him.

All that was left now was the female Mandalorian. As was standard procedure, he went to break her neck but found himself unable.

Surprisingly, the female Mandalore punched him in the faceplate fast enough that he missed the punch. The Mandalorians had no augmentation: only training until their reflexes were beyond average. The pressurized spikes in her gauntlets caused spider web cracks in the bulletproof faceplate.

On the ground, the injured Mandalorian wasn't dead, but he was close.

His dying act was to fire the capture cable in his gauntlet and latch it around the ankle of the one handed Spartan.

The Spartan doesn't realize what the Mandalorian is doing until it's too late. He fires the other end of the capture cable into the giant cogs right before dying.

The giant gears pull on the capture cable, which defies even the Spartan III's great strength. He's pulled into the gears and is crushed like a bug.

Mandalorians: 1

Spartan IIIs: 1

There's nothing alive aboard the zeppelin except for two females: one Spartan and one Mandalorian. Only one will make it out alive.

The female Spartan drags the bomb behind her. It's big and normally requires a forklift to move around. She's no master chief but she manages.

It doesn't take long for her to reach the fighter bay of the zeppelin. The craft is close to crashing and only one fighter craft is intact; a school bus sized machine that flaps its wings like a beetle.

Chaining the bomb to the underside of the craft, the squad leader fires up the steam engines. It'll only take a few seconds for the engines to reach optimum level.

Meanwhile, the female Mandalorian is burning her jet pack red hot. She's speeding through the halls and maintenance ways of the zeppelin, cutting through chains and wires with her beskad like they're nothing.

In no time at all, she's in the hangar bay and screams a Mandalorian war cry.

The Spartan can barely react before a beskad wielding Mandalorian women jets past near, nearly taking her head off.

The female Spartan has only her sniper rifle left and one clip. She used the rest of her Sniper ammo on the Vong boarders and lost the assault rifle when the zeppelin took a few unexpected twists and turns. One of those twists and turns threw her out of the steam beetle.

The female Mandalorian spins around and slashes at her opponent; using her jet pack to outmanoeuvre the agile Spartan.

Suddenly, everything shakes as if rocked by an earthquake. The zeppelin has hit ground and in three seconds the volatile anti-matter in the ship's steam engines is going to blow.

Not wanting to turn this into a suicide mission, the Mandalorian uses the last of the fuel in her jet pack and zips into the cockpit of the steam beetle.

With a rush of wind and the chugging of pistons, the beetle takes off, leaving the Spartan behind.

The beetle like aircraft beats its wings frantically as the zeppelin explodes, significantly altering the landscape for years to come.

Damaged but not inoperable, the female Mandalorian dares to breathe again.

The relief is short lived as the craft is shaken. According to the instruments panel, something large and humanoid is left clinging to the undercarriage of the craft.

Grabbing into the flying machine's bronzed landing gear; the Spartan III has a death grip. With one hand she holds onto the craft, unaffected by scalding hot steam bursts. With the other hand, she rips into the chassis of the beetle, hoping to hijack its controls.

The Mandalorian knows that she's running out of options as warning lights flash all over the console. A coral skimmer appears on the horizon. The Mandalorian has found a solution.

The Spartan is surprised as the beetle swerves into a head on collision course with the Vong coral skipper.

The pilot inside the coral skipper fires the craft's meteor weapons but the Mandalorian does not return fire.

At the last minute, the Spartan III realizes the brilliance of her enemy's plan.

As the two fighter craft are about to collide, the Mandalore swerves slightly up. The valiant Spartan III is splattered over the front of the coral skipper, which in turn causes the pilot to lose control and crash.

The female Mandalorian doesn't sigh or express any kind of relief. Inside that mask, she's as cold and inexpressive as the beskar helmet she wears.

Her whole team is dead and now she has to deliver a bomb to a landing site which is now in the thickest part of the fight.

The fun has just begun.

THE MANDALORIANS WIN!

Stats:

Mandalorians: 563 kills

Mandalore heavy repeater-365 kills

EE-3 Carbine rifle-99 kills

Atomic compression grenade-82 kills

Beskad-7 kills

Spartan IIIs: 437 kills

MA5C Assault rifle-105 kills

Sniper Rifle System 99D-S2-237 kills

Spiker Grenade-30 kills

M7057 Flamethrower-65 kills


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Geoff appears before the camera. "I was right, the Mandalorians won."

Max elaborates for his buddy. "The deciding factor in this was the armour. The Mandalorians just put so much effort and craftsmanship into their armour. It's nearly impenetrable even when they don't use Mandalore Iron. To quote count Duku, they have the best armour that blood can buy."

Mendez doesn't think highly of the test results. "This isn't right. I say we bring in a smart UNSC AI and have that decide who's tougher. Cortanna would know the answer."

Jaina is reserved once more, but looks like she had fun. "I have no doubt that the Spartan IIIs are formidable warriors. I just think that they need better equipment."

The two sides face each other off. The three hosts stand like referees. "Okay guys, now shake hands and say good game," Geoff instructs.

Each side does as he instructs. Jaina is quite amicable. Emile and Fett are a pair of enigmas and even Mendez is getting over the disappointment of losing.

Everybody is friends now, sort of.

It's then that Max proposes a team building exercise. "Hey guys, I've got a giant shopping cart in the back lot. Want to ride it down the hill like in Jackass?"

Elsewhere at the Gold & Silver pawnshop, part owner Rick Harris is explaining what somebody brought in today. "I just had a guy come in with what he claimed to be a Jedi holocron," the fat man explains.

"I'm tempted to keep it because Jedi holocrons are worth a lot of money. But I'm going to wait until I can get an expert in. If it's a Sith holocron, then I don't want anything to do with it. Those things are trouble; if my father opens it we're all in big trouble. Guy's got a lot of anger problems."

Suddenly, Rick's attention is caught by the sound of joyful screaming as a giant shopping cart full of three idiots, a UNSC sergeant and a Mandalore with a Spartan III and a Jedi hanging off the sides comes zooming past the window of the shop.

Rick is befuddled and wants to scratch his bald head. "What the hell was that?"


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That's all folks! Thank you, you've been wonderful and thank you for reviewing :D Next time I've got Kratos vs. the Mask. How's that for an unusual combo? Following that will be Dr. Who vs. Invader Zim then another one of my many requests. I only ask your patients. Oh and I don't own Pawn Stars, Spike TV owns that.

Ta

Master of teh Boot