Eren vs Ethan Prologue

Ethan Thomas vs Eren Yeager

Prologue: They all fall down

Wall Rose, Castle Utgard, hidden basement

Eren Yeager wakes up in a bathtub full of lukewarm water stained pink with blood. Sitting up in the tub, Eren rubs his eyes to try and get rid of the sleep that clings to his consciousness. 

He gasps and begins to shiver. Suddenly nervous, the normally angry boy checks his body for any signs of injury; fearful from Jean's stories about organ thieves running out of Wall Sina. He's got a few scratches and bruises on him, nothing that would indicate organ loss; and certainly nothing that would account for the amount of blood in the cold bathwater. 

Cold light from a fluorescent fixture flickers and casts the room in shadows that wink away but never fully vanish. The effect disorients the already woozy Eren and he slips and falls back into the bloody water. 

This has the effect of returning him back to his angry self, and soon Eren jumps out of the water, splashing the once white tiles pink. 

The boy pants and his legs feel shaky. He puts a blood dripping hand to his brow and pulls back his unruly hair from his eyes. The room is cold and his head hurts very badly, like a stampede of titans kicked around his head like a soccer ball. 

Wincing in pain, Eren notices a dozen stitches across the back of his hand; his movements were pulling at the crude stitches made of dental floss. 

Ring-ring!

The member of the Recon Corps jumps in fright at the sound of an old antique telephone ringing. 

Ring-ring!

Shambling much like a zombie, the weak and weary Eren goes over to the phone which is covered in dust and cobwebs; nobody's touched this thing in years. 

A third set of rings finally gets Eren to pick up the receiver and put it to his ear. His eyes are wide and he doesn't know what to expect from the other end of the line. 

"Don't talk, time is of the essence," comes the voice over the line, "Right now you're wanted for murder, an army of chaos and an army of order are going to fight in your lands and worst of all the Recon Corps is compromised." 

"Who--

"Didn't I say don't talk?" chuckled the man on the line, with more than a hint of menace in his mirthless laughter, "Trust Mikasa but don't trust Armin, they've already gotten to him."

"But Armin is--

"Interrupt me one more time and you will regret it," hisses the voice, "Now, I don't expect you to understand what's going on, but if you want to stop humanity's extinction in these walls I suggest you pay attention. Very soon, people are going to start transforming into Titans within the walls." 

It sounds so unbelievable that Eren almost can't take it seriously, but the man's voice on the phone hypnotizes him. He nods, almost like the man on the phone was watching him somehow. 

"Find these people before they turn, just follow the trail of blue meth. It's wonderful stuff, but it needs the help of sonic emitters to complete the transformation. Destroy as many of the sonic emitters as you can and you can . . . slow your enemies down." 

Eren's head is spinning. Blue Meth? Sonic emitters?

"I've got to go. If you can prove that you are the deadliest warrior, then maybe I'll contact you with more information."

The phone line goes dead and Eren is left naked, cold and confused with the last twenty four hours of his memory totally blank. 

As Eren struggles to remember what happened to him, something strange happens. His wounds heal, leaking steam as they do . . . just like a titan. 

Wall Sina, slum district, underworld level

Hannes head is driven through a TV screen and killed instantly. A few zaps of electricity stop his heart and he buys it. 

Burn in hell, you piece of shit. 

Special Agent Ethan Thomas looks over the members of the Garrison he had to kill; all of them influenced by the Oro's sonic powers to become violent psychopaths. Despite the defeats that Ethan dealt them, the cult's power has grown; now putting out tentacles into the walled city on Saturn's moon Titan. 

As Ethan goes over the bodies, he finds something of interest, "Rosa, we've got a body here," he calls over the com link. 

"One of the garrison?" asks the women. 

"No, someone cut up and tortured. Looks like this poor sap found out too much and the influenced killed him." The body is mutilated, hardly recognizable save for the fact that he's wearing the uniform of the Scounting Legion. 

Upon closer examination, Ethan sees claw marks on the body; like the killer scratched deep enough to rip skin and subcutaneous tissue out. From the placement of the nail marks, it looks like the killer was roughly the same size as the victim and--wait!

Ethan sees it, under the fingernails of the vic are scraps of human flesh, and a bit of fabric. 

using his forensics kit, Ethan pries the fabric from under the vic's nails. Opening the small scrap of fabric, Ethan sees that it's part of a name tag." 

"Yeager," Ethan reads from the torn, bloody scrap of fabric. 

Imperium of Man, 

Cypher hung up his beat up old cell phone. Reception on hive worlds is terrible, but Hive Fenksworld is the only place the can call Eren Yeager from. 

Time is short, events are moving out of control and even the archenemy is frightened. The Fallen angel of the Space Marines sighs and pulls out his plasma pistol. "Manipulating friends, killing enemies, universal destruction at hand . . . another day at work. 

Then he was gone, just as the Flood and Eldar arrived on the unfortunate hive world.  

Reboot Match listings

Master of the Boot's Deadliest Warrior: Reboot

Match listing

What follows is my new and upgraded list of fights for the coming battle :) I hope you enjoy, because it's going to be a wild ride. Now, remember that Raynor vs Mental will return in the future, but for now view these wonderful new and old fights. 

Thor vs Beelzeboss: The Mighty Thor is one of Marvel Comics strongest and most famous heroes. Beelzeboss is the most powerful and most pissed off incarnation of Lucifer in existence. If Thor loses, Beelzeboss will anal rape Ironman. If Thor wins, Beelzeboss will anal rape Ironman; he deserves it after the shit he pulled during the Marvel civil war. 

Captain America vs Bane: Steroids gav them their strength, but the fire within led these two men to defeat some of the strongest foes of their respective universes. Will Captain America throw down Bane and de-mask him? Or will Bane break the first Avenger?

The Winchesters vs the Mythbusters: Our first ever partner match, done in tag team style. One are a pair  of brothers who stopped the apocalypse and fight the supernatural wherever it rises. The other are two men who don't know fear, don't know pain, have borderline superhuman strength and use the power of science to put myths to rest. 

Please . . . don't try what you're about to see here at home. Ever!

Bill Nye the Science guy vs Walter White: At the end of the day, no matter who wins this match . . . science rules!

Sabaton vs Rammstein: Two bands. One the result of a World War one era science experiment gone horrifyingly wrong, yet right. The other the descendants of the Swedish gods. The ultimate battle of the bands is coming to you soon ;)

That shark will be one of the weapons used

Fuhrer Bradley vs Deadpool: The Merc with a mouth clashes against the man with the ultimate eye. Who lives, who dies? What're you asking me for? wait for the damn episode to come out!

The Locust Horde versus the Darwinists: Two armies who feed their war machines rather than oil them. However the Locusts prefer to feed their war machines warm human flesh. This isn't a battle of conquest or ideology; no, this is a battle for survival with the loser utterly annihilated. Survival of the fittest, I guess. 

Julius Ceaser vs Chopper Read: The famous imperator himself fights one on one with the most feared man in the Australian underworld. The conqueror of civilizations and butcher of his enemies fights a man who thinks that torture is fun and forcing a man to dig his own grave is impolite. Good times man, good times. 

Delta Squad vs Cobra Unit: They're the guys you call when things go horribly wrong. They're the guys you call when it totally, absolutely needs to get done and body counts are no object. Ah, you can almost smell the cordite. 

Duke Nukem vs Alex Mercer: Old vs Classic games come to a terrifying showdown when the king of one-liners and steroids takes on the famous prototype himself. In a terrifying dance of bombs, biomass and beer, who will win?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs Seras Victoria: It's a battle of the blondes as two of the most effective vampire killers in the world get into the ultimate battle as to who rules the night. Sunnydale is never going to be the same after this mess. 

Sora vs Hans Gunsche: Sora is tough and has faced the worst of the Disney Villains, but he'd better watch himself as the toughest werewolf in the universe goes gunning for him. Forget what you think you know and get ready for a fight so intense it'll crumble Walt Disney's bones into dust

Vampire Hunter D vs Darth Maul: These guys are men of few words and blunt and brutal action. The greatest assassin of the Sith goes head to head with the greatest vampire hunter of the Frontier. This can only end one way . . . 

One of these guys will lose his head, stay tuned to see who

Rob Zombie vs Carolus Rex: In a stunning showdown of darkness versus light, the god appointed King of Sweden fights against the Lord of the Necromancers. Holy magic will fight dark powers. Captive familiars will battle on behalf of their masters. Submachine guns will go up against cannons. And in the end, only one will remain. 

All of this and more, coming soon to you!!! 

Read!!!!

Review!!!

ENJOY!!!!!

Deadliest warrior Reboot: Preview

Master of the Boot's deadliest Warrior: The Reboot!

Author's note: I do not own either Attack on Titan, Deadliest Warrior or Bloodshot. 

Scene: 

The Three hosts from Deadliest appear on screen. 

Armand Dorian starts first, "First of all, we want to apologize on behalf of the author for the long hiatus of this story." 

Geoff goes next, "There's been jobs, marriage and a decision to join the army." 

Max finishes, "And frankly, Mental's horde vs Raynor's Raiders was just too exhausting to finish. But don't think that it's going to be cancelled." 

Armand smiles, "That's right! While Raynor vs Mental may be on hiatus, the show will go on. Unlike the hit series on spike, this bad boy is coming back." 

Geoff holds out his arms, "So let's all give a big round of applause as the story of the deadliest warriors continues!" 

Announcer: Let's fucking rock and roll!!!!!

DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Announcer: After a long and hungry hiatus, we're back and better than ever before

The scene shows Geoff and Armand standing before a giant supercomputer. 

The computer technology is more advanced than ever

The next shot shows Alucard russian dancing on top of a table full of broken glassware

The moves are smoother than ever

A Tau fire warrior detonates a bomb that puts a crater in the ground the size of an aircraft carrier

The explosions are bigger than anything in your wildest dreams!!

Darth Maul and Vampire Hunter D sword duel over a volcanic pit

Avatar Korra dodges a strike from Abbadon the despoiler

A Tau fire Warrior lays down fire at a charging armoured bear

all of it to ask just one . . . single . . . question

Tony Jay, the dark voice laughs in pure evil as his plans unfold perfectly

WHO

IS

THE

DEADLIEST

WARRIOR!!!!!!!!!!

The deadliest warrior logo flashes on the screen

Announcer: here in the brand new refurbished fight club, the guys are ready to go, the simulations are ready to run and hopes are high. 

Geoff is gleeful, "After Spike cancelled us, I was so bummed out. But when the Court of Owls threatened to kill the Spike executives, we got a second chance at life." 

Armand dorian pulls out a human heart from a freezer, "While the show was cancelled, I was forced to make a living doing emergency surgeries for organized crime members." The tanned doctor shudders, "They paid well but I did thinks I never thought I'd have to do once I graduated from college." 

Mr Bean pops up from out of nowhere and gives the camera a knowing look, "If you know what I mean." Bean says suggestively before vanishing. 

Max appears behind a gigantic supercomputer, "While those two layabouts were doing nothing; I took the time and stole a government supercomputer for my simulations." He gestures to the mighty computing machine, "Say hello to the Cray Titan; able to compute at 17.59 petaFLOPS per second."

Cray Titan then speaks up in a monotone voice, "The petaFLOP is a measurement of calculations per second. Your choice to say "per second" is highly redundant." 

"Shut up!" Max yells at the computer. Then he adds, "Oh, we kept on Robert Daly to be our butt monkey." 

Over to the left is Robert, obliviously typing on his laptop while at the same time sitting inside a clear glass case full of scorpions. 

Geoff shows up again, while behind him a young Asian woman is practicing with a sword that looks like an exacto knife. "Today we're going to have two very brutal and frankly anti-social heroes fight for our viewers benefit. Mr Announcer guy?"

Announcer: Our first battle for the reboot shall be Eren Yeager!

Voted anime character most likely to join the Nazi party

Camera flashes to show a young boy in a grappling hook harness attacking a cannibalistic giant. 

The young man who sword to eradicate the Titan menace that plagued his world at any cost

Now the camera shows a dirty, grungy, pissed off looking man cradling a lead pipe covered in bloodstains. 

Announcer: Ethan Thomas! Once an accomplished FBI agent, he was driven into exile by the mysterious cult Oro Invictus. 

Drunk, tired and pissed off. Also armed

A clean shaven, straight laced Thomas morphs into a murderous, homeless Thomas battles with a psychotic group of rioters

Friendless and struggling with alcoholism, Ethan used the most blunt, brutal violence to battle an evil cult and put a stop to hardcore crime. 

Announcer: Eren's Childhood friends Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert represent their friend as well as the Scouting legion. 

AKA: the Failionaire the failtrocity, 

The Asian girl from earlier opens up, "Eren will win this fight. He's fought murderous giants with a Wolverine like healing factor while Ethan spends his time killing homeless people." 

Is there a good reason she's not the main character?

The blonde boy ARmin pipes in, "Eren is more driven than anyone I know. For him killing titans is an obsession. Not to mention the fact that he can turn into a titan himself." 

At the point, the announcer says what we're all thinking about Armin.

Announcer: Hey homo, He-Man called; he wants his hair back.

At this, everyone in the studio except Mikasa starts to laugh at Armin; even Robert Daly. Armin blushes with extreme humiliation as several Asian farmers stop to mock him in their native language. 

An attractive African-American women appears on the camera, "My name is Lt Angel Rosa. As a forensic analyst, I worked with Ethan Thomas for years; before and after his fall into alcoholism. Ethan beat his alcohol addiction and he beat many unstoppable foes. He's skilled and strong enough to take on multiple armed enemies in hand to hand combat and he's highly intelligent; able to get inside the minds of the criminals he's hunting and locate clues that others would miss at a crime scene." 

Mikasa retorts to Rosa, "True to all of that, but Mr. Thomas has never fought a titan before." 

Rosa nods, "True, but Ethan has fought a rabid bear before. So he has at least some experience with large, murderous animals that can't be punched out." 

Announcer: Pierce Larue was an elite FBI member who accompanied Ethan on many of his journeys through a city that would make Spawn want to move to a better neighbourhood.

A bald Afro-American man in tactical gear who looks like Sergeant Johnson's grandfather appears with a smile and a wink. "Ethan is going to fuck up this little punk. This kid got eaten in episode five and didn't kill a single Titan until he became one. At least the first wave of guys on Saving Private Ryan knew they were fucked." 

The three hosts stand between the two groups of experts, "Well guys," says Geoff, "There's only one way to prove who will win." 

==STATS==

Ethan Thomas: 

Age: 35

Height--5'10''

Weight: 200 lbs

Eren Yeager: 

Age--15

Height--170 cm

weight--63 kg

==X-FACTORS==

Eren Yeager

Battle Skill: 9/10

Initiative:10/10

Strategy: 3/10

Teamwork:5/10

Passion: 10/10

Discipline:4/10

Ethan Thomas

Battle Skill: 9/10

Initiative:9/10

Strategy: 7/10

Teamwork:6/10

Passion: 610

Discipline:6/10

Geoff, Armand and Max stand beside the supercomputer Cray Titan. "So Cray," Says Geoff, "What can you tell us about the new X-factors?" 

Cray responds in a monotone voice, "Among other things, skills and initiative were factored in. Teamwork was also factored in because an inferior fighter can still sometimes win a fight if he gangs up on his foe and kicks the crap out of him with superior numbers." 

The computer continues, "In this case, Eren and Thomas were close in terms of battle skill, initiative  and teamwork. Both men suffer from slightly lower discipline, however Ethan Thomas highly defeats Yeager in terms of strategy. Ethan is frequently attacked by psychotic mobs and must use improvised tools and careful strategies lest he die. While quite honestly, Eren has fallen to titans easily when not in his shifter form." 

Armin and Mikasa walk up, only for Armin to scoff at the computer. "A plague on you! You're metal and plastic; you don't understand what Eren can do." 

Announcer: He understands you spread it like cream cheese for Eren

Armin shouts at the announcer, "Stop mocking me." 

Geoff ignores the announcer as Rosa and Larue approach, "Well I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I think we need to start doing some weapons testing." 

Armand shouts and gives Max a high five, "Yeah baby! I've missed this!!" 

The camera shifts to show three pig carcasses hanging from the ceiling. The shot pans to reveal the hosts and the experts. 

Geoff talks to Mikasa. "Okay, so what does Eren bring for his up close and personal game?" 

In response, the stoic asian girl holds up two swords that appear segmented like utility knives. "When fighting titans, every set of 3D maneuver gear comes with a set of disposable swords. These swords are built by first rate craftsmen to be both light and highly durable." 

She takes her sword and plugs it into the sheath connected to her 3D gear. "When a sword grows dull, as many titans have highly dense hides; we can replace that sword quickly and easily. The blade is forged titanium steel with a high carbon content and vanadium." 

Larue smack talks his rival. "Well that's a nice knife . . . for cutting thanksgiving dinner. Ethan will just take that and shove it up Eren's candy ass." 

Armin smacks talks back, and he's not very good at it. "Why you . . . Eren will . . . eat . . . Ethan's sack!" 

Crickets sound as everybody in the room looks at him funny. 

Announcer: You'd know a lot about biting sack, wouldn't you?" 

"Shut up!" Armin shouts. 

Ignoring the bickering, Geoff attacks two devices to Mikasa. "Okay, we've got a device to measure velocity on your wrist and on your sword. When you're ready, just take a swing." 

AT this, everyone steps back as Mikasa gets into fighting position. 

Geoff grabs a stop watch and gives it a kiss before proceeding. "Mikasa, you're on in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . ATTACK ON TITAN!!!" 

What Mikasa does puts the cyborg ninja to shame. She leaps forward and spinning like sonic the hedgehog and cuts the three pig carcasses in half, midway through the chest.

Not to be outdone, Mikasa draws a second sword from her sheath and with two strikes at once beheads three pig carcasses. 

The girl says nothing, merely giving a bow. 

Rosa nods her head in approval. "That's impressive. If Eren is half as good as that, then Ethan had better watch his step." 

Armin pipes in, "Don't worry, Eren't nowhere near as good as Mikasa." 

"Shut up, Armin!" Mikasa shouts at Armin, throwing one of her swords like a spear. 

A terrified Armin breaks out into a sweat as Mikasa's sword sticks into the wall next to his head. "Don't you dare jeopardize Eren's chances at this!" she shouts. 

The room stays silent for several second before the announcer interrupts. 

Announcer: Let's just stay calm here. Now I believe if we can go for five minutes without killing one another we'll all be fine. 

About five minutes pass but we fast forward through it all 

Announcer: Mikasa proved herself a god with a blade, but now Ethan Thomas's experts go forth with an eclectic but effective collection of melee weapons. 

Pierce Larue stands in front of a small wooden table with several objects on it. "Now, Ethan normally prefers to give out knuckle sandwiches; but when the going gets tough; Ethan throws everything at his enemies but the kitchen sink." 

Illustrating his point, Larue picks up a brick, "Metro city has some of the worst zoning laws in the nation; piles of discarded bricks are more common than snowflakes at Christmas." 

He then grabs a two by four with nails sticking out of it, "Here's Jesus Christ superstar. Double what I said about shitty zoning laws. Can be found in almost any trash bin or old oil drum around the city." 

Next on the list is well . . . 

"A toilet seat!" Larue crows with a winning smile, "No further explanation." 

Last but not least is the most bizarre item on the list. "A flaming prosthetic arm! Now that's what I'm talking about." 

Armin looks at the table full of Ethan's weapons in disbelief. "What do you call all this garbage?" 

"We call it the quad. Ethan like to improvise his weapons, but he usually keeps a brick or plank on him at nearly all times. " 

Mikasa also adds her sense to the matter, "We bring a high quality sword. You bring four pieces of shit. "

Rosa cautions Mikasa, "You wouldn't say that if you could see what Ian has done." 

The camera changes and now Larue is standing in front of four ballistics gel dummies. 

The bearded Afro-police officer grins with excitement at the prospect of smashing heads; even if they are synthetic. 

Geoff gets his stop watch again, "Pierce, in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1. . . BLOODSHOT!!!!" 

Pierce gives out a loud roar and grabs the toilet seat. Throwing it as hard as he can, the "u" shaped piece of plastic slams into the neck of a dummy and knocks it over. 

He then grabs a brick and a two by four and goes to town. Strapping the brick to his belt, he takes the two by four and smashes a dummy across the head with it. The gel head bounces back and forth and a second strike totally rips out a synthetic eye. A third strike rips open the head and spills brains. 

Dropping the plank, Larue takes his brick and drives it as hard as he can into one of two standing dummies; there's a crunch and immediately fake blood gushes down the dummy's forehead. 

Running back to the table, he takes the fake arm, uses a match to light it on fire and then goes crazier. The FBI agent takes the claw on the flaming arm and disembowels the final dummy; spilling its guts and cooking them at the same time. 

"AND TIME!" Geoff shouts as he cuts the stop watch. "Twenty seconds and four casualties; I couldn't have wished for more." 

Now it's time to look at the destruction first hand. On come Armand's gloves. "Well, the guy who got hit by the toilet seat was an instant kill. The larynx is totally crushed from the impact." 

He examines the two blunt impact kills, "Both of these instant kills, but I want to draw your attention to the disembowelment." He points to spots where the gelatine has melted. "From what we can see here, where the burning fake arm tore out the intestines caused third degree burns. Not an instant kills but so agonizingly painful that it really would put Eren out of the fight." 

The three hosts take time to deliberate. "Ethan's weapons were brutal, effective and past video footage has shown Ethan can throw them as accurately as a firearm." Geoff states. 

Max however has a point, "True, but Ethan's swords killed three targets in less than a quarter of the time that Ethan needed to kill three. Not to mention that while Larue threw a toilet seat at fifty feet per second; Levi could throw his swords at least that fast if not faster." 

Cray Titan the computer speaks up, "Have you reached a decision?" 

The lads nod, "Yes we have," says Armand. 

EDGE: EREN YEAGER

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Stay tuned in for more :) My deadliest warrior story is back online! Sorry for the hiatus, I'm in the army, married and with a job in construction. But I'm back :) And I miss this shit so much. Expect to see updates on deviant art and on fan fiction.net. 

I love ya'll :)

TA