Randall Flagg vs Voldemort: Sneak Peak

Enclosed within is a little sneak peak of my upcoming match. I hope you enjoy it very much :)

What follows is a test of the crucio spell by Severus Snape, and Robert Daly gets to be the test subject.

Snape stands before the camera, “I am not waiting for the countdown, I have places to be other than a ridiculous show like this.”

At his side, Bellatrix nags in his ear. “Severus, you traitorous faggot! Let me do the crudio spell!” As a death eater the crucio curse was her speciality; her use of it caused Neville Longbottom’s parents to go permenantly insane.

Snape grits his teeth, “Bella, shut up.”

Then without warning he fires the spell at Robert Daly, who is typing on his laptop. “Crucio!”

Robert suddenly starts convulsing as if he’s having a seizure. For the first time ever he actually gets out of his swivel chair, he’s in so much agony. And I thought his ass had fused to the seat via osmosis.

Robert convulses, foams and gurgles as the spell lights every pain receptor in his body on fire. The crucio curse is like having a starving hydralisk shoved up one’s ass (a peppered hydralisk), a hot needle shoved into the urethra and then being given an acid bath and skullfucked at the same time. Multiply that by about fifteen thousand and you’ll almost be as in much pain as crucio can deliver.

Roland Deschain, seeing how Robert is in agony, decides to help. “This witchcraft is monstrous,” he says gravely and pulls out his revolver; intending to put Robert out of his misery like a horse with a broken leg.

Cocking the hammer, Roland takes his gun and shoots Robert twice. Th heavy fifty calibre bullets strike Robert like a hammer and nearly topple him.

“We are so going to get sued for this,” says Geoff just as Snape stops the crucio curse.

Robert, having been put through the worst pain of his life and shot twice by a gun whose barrels are made from the melted down alloy of Excalibur, drops dead like a sack of potatoes.

The camera shifts to show an ambulance speeding towards the fight club.

As paramedics haul away Robert, Bellatrix is laughing and clapping like a little girl at a magic show. “Bravo! Bravo!” she shouts. Laughing eerily, she praises the show, “I love American shows, I love violence and death.” She is also a fan of God of War.

Snape tries to ignore Bellatrix. Instead he merely comments, “My, I think that may have been excessive.”

Meanwhile, the raggedy and psychotic Bellatrix saunters over to Roland with a swagger that’s meant to be seductive. “Hello, cowboy,” he says playfully; she causes Stephen King to hide behind Roland. “Maybe when the show is over you and I can make hay while the sun shines?”

To make her point, Bellatrix takes her index and middle finger, puts either of them on her check and starts flicking her tongue in and out in a highly suggestive way.

Roland’s eyes just widen but he says nothing

I currenlty have written much more than this, this is just a taste and a tease :) I hope you all enjoy and be sure to check out all the other deadliest warrior bloggers. Since the show is gone we must keep the torch passing.


and before I go enjoy some of this, 

The Techno Viking demands obedience, bitch!